I did not have a sweet 16 birthday party but today I am writing my DailyReal blog post number 16 so I am celebrating that sweet 16. 🎂 After my longtime struggle in making myself a priority, I can honestly tell you that nothing could be sweeter! 💗
Writing is extremely necessary for me. It’s where I get to express myself and just say what needs to be said. It is what keeps me present instead of in my head. It has always been my go to and my very sanity. When I’m not writing, I am bottling up and swallowing things whole. That’s never a good or healthy thing.
Then & Now
Back when I was a sweet 16 year old girl, it was easier to hide like that. I used my writing for myself, as a way to keep things to myself and keep quiet. Today, at 46, it is nearly impossible for me to hide or not say what is burning a hole in my heart.
Back then, I cared about belonging; not making waves ensured acceptance. As a result, I was known as the nice, good girl you could always count on. This worked really well for me in my life until I got to my mid 30’s and thought I’d burst at the seams from holding so much inside. I had said a lot before then but kept much more in than I ever let out of the bag to not deal with people’s reactions.
Today, I couldn’t care less what people think and I say and do whatever it is I need to. The writing comes naturally and effortlessly as a result of not keeping myself in a straight jacket and is fulfilling and satisfying every time.
Boundaries have been set and my dreams and goals are no longer on hold. From where I started, it is all pretty much downright miraculous.
Sweet 16 No More
While I always had a rebellious streak to combat the good girl persona I built in my youth and ultimately did what I wanted, I never felt as fully free like I do now. That’s because freedom comes from living with your soul at peace. It comes from accepting and valuing yourself first and I wasn’t quite there for a long time. That took courage and years of standing up for myself and building that muscle up in the face of great disagreement.
Was it easy? Of course not. But neither was living up to the expectations of others and not my own. And neither was giving to everyone else and having nothing left to fill my very soul back up. I literally hit a wall and my entire life came undone as a result.
So, here’s a life tip for those of you who are people pleasing and afraid of standing up for yourselves to help you avoid that same fate: if you want the real you to survive this life and this world, you’re going to have to stop being a little sweet 16 year old girl (or boy). Being subservient will backfire at some point for you, if it hasn’t already. You’re an adult now and responsible for how you take care of yourself and what you allow your life to be.
Make yourself a priority. There’s a life you want, there’s someone you want to be. That someone, however, isn’t just going to show up one day. That someone is buried underneath layers of junk and nonsense you’ve tolerated in order to survive and you’re going to have to take some action to get out of the rut of being malleable and chameleon-like.
Remember that the real difference between who you are and want to be is what you do. YOU matter. YOU are important. Show it on the outside by your actions as you already know it inside the core of your very soul.
All my love to you always,
Narah
“Life is too short & too beautiful to waste!”
#BeTheRealYou | #OneLife | #RealYouLiving
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